On Skewl

For the past 17 years of my life, the last couple weeks of August always held a modge podge of feelings. At the start of every summer, there's a desire to do everything you can, yet want to do nothing at all. I would always plan out my whole summer - go here, there, and anywhere in between. But I found that some of the best days were those spent when plans weren't made, expecting nothing from nothing. Don't get me wrong - that doesn't entail sitting inside twiddling my thumbs while staring at the wall, waiting for something to happen. Doing nothing means going with the flow and accepting whatever comes along. So, within those few days of summer with the thought of the first day of school creeping in, there's a desire to get everything done that you had put off the whole summer. That's when it hits you - the very last weekend is overwhelmingly depressing. Then when that Sunday night rolls around and you realize that secretly you anticipate that first day of school - seeing your friends for possibly the first time in months, being able to use all the (sometimes unnecessary) new school supplies, showing off your phresh new school clothes, and most importantly, finding out who's in your lunch. So after all the built-up depression that last weekend, you finally realize that this is what you're used to, this is the cycle that you've grown to repeat every summer since age 5. With every excitement and new opportunity, there's a price to pay - may it be homework, a shitty teacher (or boss), or just the idea of settling into another routine.

And then there was college. Imagine the Sunday night before your first day of middle school. Take that anxiety, multiply it by about 50, and add that to the idea of not knowing where the hell any of your classes are...in different buildings...that may not even be within the 15-minute time slot alloted between classes. And there you have the first day of your freshman year of college. Then, by the next semester, your collegiate arrogance allows you to think you have everything laid out to the T. But little do you know, you'll still be learning (beyond the classroom) about the place you've grown to love - your home away from home - even beyond your own will. My senior year, I think I learned more than my previous 3 years combined. Since I've been on my own, I've had a chance to grow into myself, who I'm meant to be. I've yet to completely find that out, but it's been a hell of a ride getting there. With every mistake, failure, regret, there's always something to have learned from it. Without them, I wouldn't be here. Each one has shone a new light upon me, and I am able to know what I don't want for myself. Take it for what it's worth, but sometimes getting trampled on brings out the best in your inner self if you're able to look beyond the misgivings. (I miss JMU.)

So now what? Everyone is going back to school either this week or next and here I sit. Waiting very patiently to hear from jobs. Luckily, I've been fortunate enough to undertake my job hunt in one of the most lax cities with the most beautiful weather, so I'm not complaining. Unfortunately, since the job search hasn't been so fruitful for me here, I'm heading back to my roots - the east coast. It's good to know that I have family all over the country that is willing to take me in for however long need be. Give and you shall receive.

With that said, the whole first couple weeks of classes my freshman year were further amped with overwhelming excitement for John Mayer's release of Continuum. The night of September 13, 2006, his first concert complete with new songs streamed live online from Webster Hall in NYC. That day, the only thing I wanted was to be able to use the internet for an hour 1/2 to watch it...that's all. But, no. Why, of course we would have a fire drill and not be allowed back in the building right at the start of the concert! So, the song below is part of the concert that I missed, but managed to download and listen on repeat. Adios, escuela. May you bring the same pain and pleasure to everyone who stands before you.