Lovers. Rock.

If you wanna end it (It's a...)

If you wanna end it (war of the...)

Just say (hearts.)

Sade's music makes me weak in the knees. Pure, flawless beauty.

Unknown Legend

I happened to catch the greater end of Rachel Getting Married recently. Even though I haven't been keeping up with my love of film lately, this one scene has made up for all that I've been lacking. So, I finally got a chance to watch it in its entirety. Seeing the movie from the beginning only makes this moment much more beautiful, genuine, and worth the time spent watching this dysfunctional family pull through for love. I may just be a sucker for glimpses into others' dysfunctionality, but this, nonetheless, is pure, raw beauty. Why this movie didn't get more credit is beyond me.

Held by a Thread

As much as this Taylor Swift phenomenon has me cringing with every song of hers released on the radio, I decided to (somewhat randomly) give this song a thorough listen. It's given me a completely different view on Ms. Swift. The song has layers of emotions which are pulled away, verse by verse, accompanied by the melody of the guitar. An added bonus is that she supposedly writes her own music, which gives a genuine sense of true feeling throughout the song(s). Not to cheese it up, but when lyrics tend to coincide with what you're feeling or have been through, the music makes it seem that much more personable. I'll admit - it was the opening bending of notes that reeled me in. Enjoy for what it's worth.

Moondance

While riding down the highway in the passenger seat, the full moon's beams shone brightly enough to trick my eyes - 'twas as if a blanket of snow sheathed the bordering terrain. This full moon has by far been the most luminous as far back as I can remember. And as much as I hate the cold, maybe my subconscious is punishing me for my longing to remain in a summer state of mind year-round, forcing anticipation for that first dusting of snow.

Cold. The word itself makes one feel lonely and hunger for the feeling of warmth, to have someone to warm you.

If you have someone, the cold may be your closest friend. But then again, it will prove to be your worst enemy in the case of the unrequited.

Staying warm.

"Sleep"

The evening hangs beneath the moon
A silver thread on darkened dune
With closing eyes and resting head
I know that sleep is coming soon

Upon my pillow, safe in bed
A thousand pictures fill my head
I cannot sleep, my mind’s a-flight
And yet my limbs seem made of lead

If there are noises in the night
A frightening shadow, flickering light
Then I surrender unto sleep
Where clouds of dream give second sight

What dreams may come, both dark and deep
Of flying wings and soaring leap
As I surrender unto sleep,
As I surrender unto sleep.

-Charles Anthony Silvestri

"Sleep," unbeknownst to me before wiki-ing it, is an adaptation of Robert Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" (no wonder I love it):

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

And below is a phenomenal choral transcription by Eric Whitacre of Silvestri's "Sleep":

Blank

Do you ever get that feeling where a feeling isn't reciprocated? Where no matter how much you want to say, you just can't put it into words? And even then if your thoughts somehow translate into some sort of language, you yourself still can't even understand their meaning? It's a total catch-22 because you want to say the right thing, but don't want to risk losing something or someone that you've grown to care about. So at this pivotal point, the question stands: what to do to show that you care and are interested without seeming overly eager/borderline crazy? A simple phone call, or even a text, is all it takes. Just one. Don't keep me in the dark. Not knowing and hovering in an oblivious state tends to take a greater toll on one's consciousness than knowing (with a possibility of getting hurt) and dealing with consequences...picking up the pieces. Honesty is key. Just...tell me.

Miss my cupcakes. That's all.

Couch Talk

Since my return from the oh-so golden state of Cali-forn-ia, I've been living the glorified life of sleeping on a couch at my pops' house, waiting tables at a local restaurant, while waiting to hear from jobs. My frustration level at this point is through the roof, seeing that I have a 4-year degree, yet am living the life of a student on summer vacation...working for money just to get by for a couple months. I've come to realize that this job hiatus has a certain way to trodden one's sense of perseverance, persistence, and an overall sense of being. What makes employers tend to blatantly look over people like me, a recent college graduate? How am I supposed to gain experience in the field...if no one will hire a fresh student - with little to no experience? It's a total catch-22; they want me to have experience, yet no one is willing to give me that experience. So here I sit, mindlessly blogging/whining about it while sitting on my couch/bed for the time being.

When I first arrived in San Diego, I was beyond eager to begin my job hunt. Now, 4 months later, the whole searching aspect of starting a new chapter in life has pretty much lost it's charisma. After applying to 70+ jobs at this point, the idea of something coming along seems to be somewhat of a joke by now. I'm fully aware that it takes awhile for HR departments to get back to applicants (if they have an ounce of heart and actually decide to get back at all). But, it's very disheartening to know that hours of applying after 4 years and countless hours of work has only led me here. To the couch. Serving at a restaurant, which, in itself is demeaning to know that it is the only possible job for me; so therefore, yes, I will put up with people's shitty 1.8% tips and continue to get yelled at for doing the right thing.

On the plus side, I have no expenses other than gas and the occasional $10 movie ticket. "Going out" doesn't really spark my interest as it did before, and I don't particularly have the dinero to blow on overpriced beer. Having little money at this point has made me cherish those things that I once took for granted: a roof over my head, tasty home-cooked meals, a comfortable resting place, and family as a support system. It all sounds cheesy, but at some point these simple luxuries start to dwindle away (except family). And since my westward departure back home to the east, I have a new-found appreciation for many things in my life. Now, it's time for me to start living.